Mercury is in retrograde! Did you know? Do you know what that means? Well, people who believe in astrological things say that when it seems like Mercury appears to be moving backward in its orbit, it affects life on Earth. It happens three or four times a year, and it’s happening from right now until December 22, when Mercury goes “direct” and all is supposed to be right in the universe again.
Lots of people blame Mercury being in retrograde for strange stuff that happens in their lives. It’s also reportedly a terrible time to attempt new endeavors — just stay home and wait it out. In short, it brings bad luck and makes lots of people feel really uneasy and weird.
Here are some people rising Mercury’s profile (with jokes) on Twitter.
WOW MERCURY SEEMS TO ALWAYS BE IN RETROGRADE WHENEVER MY WORST FRIEND IS DOING SOMETHING DUMB
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 3, 2017
me: *maybe eats once a day, drinks/eats food terrible for my system, sleeps 4 hours a night*
my body: *gets sick*
me: that goddamn mercury retrograde
— Princess Olive (@stopolive) December 5, 2017
Men are cancelled until mercury retrograde ends on the 22nd. Thank me later
— 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱 (@amara_hendrix) December 4, 2017
what if we destroy mercury? then theres no more retrograde? thoughts?
— chloe (@contrachloe) December 8, 2017
A day under Mercury Retrograde: pic.twitter.com/RdrlhdJPS5
— oh my stars!✨🌙😭 (@zodiac_memes) December 5, 2017
You know what’s worse than Mercury being in retrograde? Being constantly told that Mercury is in retrograde.
— OMG, LaJethro (@LaJethroJenkins) December 5, 2017
I cried every day last week but apparently mercury is in retrograde? I knew mama ain’t raise no bitch
— ❄️ellie ❄️ (@holy_schnitt) December 5, 2017
*our Christmas tree falls down*
“..omg mercury is in retrograde”
— Brandon Woelfel (@Brandonwoelfel) December 10, 2017
any man who tries to come back into my life during mercury retrograde is clearly a man i need to kill
— ROSEWATER (@rsewtrr) December 6, 2017
I will fucking blame all my melt downs and dramatic tendencies on mercury retrograde and no one can stop me!!!!!! Bye
— C (@Cindy_killa) December 6, 2017
mercury is in retrograde u know what that means ladies pic.twitter.com/kVlpEak7Id
— 𝐤𝖔𝖇𝐲 ♥ (@kobychill) December 5, 2017
Mercury is in retrograde this is not the time to go on a search for some new dick bitch stay the fuck home
— virgo (@allmenaintshit) December 3, 2017
l only smoke crack when mercury is in retrograde
— DUCK (@DuckFanAccount) December 6, 2017
Me: Astrology is fake
Y’all: Mercury is in retrograde
— The Gay Burn Book (@SouthernHomo) December 5, 2017
Mercury is in retrograde and I have the WEIRDEST boner
I don’t know how astrology works
— Wonder Boy 🤓 🔜 Decadence AZ (@CodyMarkRankin) December 3, 2017
YOU: The Queen Bio-pic is stalled
ME: Freddy Mercury’s in retrograde
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 5, 2017
Mercury is in retrograde but you still owe me money
— MYKKI BLANCO (@MykkiBlanco) December 8, 2017
My idea of risk-taking is upgrading my iPhone during Mercury retrograde.
— angelic (@angelic_astro) December 8, 2017
I can tell I’m struggling when the only part of astrology i believe in is mercury in retrograde
— jenny slate (@jennyslate) December 8, 2017
me when mercury is in retrograde vs. me normally pic.twitter.com/Z7z6ujz9Yy
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) August 31, 2016
*committing several murders in cold blood and painstakingly combining victims’ hair into a single wig* Mercury is in retrograde!!!!!
— Natalie Walker (@nwalks) September 6, 2016
Mercury is no longer in retrograde. It is now once again only in sushi and Jeremy Piven’s top 3 worst excuses.
— Elle Noël (@ElleOhHell) March 1, 2014
when mercury is in retrograde vs. the rest of the year pic.twitter.com/y8nmAxaQO8
— la bella vita (@drugproblem) August 31, 2016
mercury is in retrograde so that means i get two periods this month
— pascalle (@frenchielaboozi) September 2, 2016
When Mercury is in retrograde 😭 pic.twitter.com/lZpwl08lIu
— ॐMerkaba Akashic☯ (@Sacred_Sister) May 23, 2016
Mercury is in retrograde which explains why I’ve been doing dumb things like saying, “Mercury is in retrograde.”
— Robin McCauley Lynch (@RobinMcCauley) October 28, 2013
Sorry I got drunk and dropped your phone facedown on the pavement and shattered it but in my defense, Mercury is in retrograde.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) August 31, 2016
mercury is in retrograde again meaning I can now blame all my bad decisions on something other than my lack of common sense I am thrilled
— jingle bell jaz (@jazhasfreckles) August 31, 2016