“I evacuated my elementary school with a single fart.
In elementary school, I used to fake-sick all the time to stay home. Eventually my mom decided the only way I could stay home was if I had a fever because I’ve “cried wolf” too many times.
One morning in 6th grade I had a killer stomach ache, and tried my hardest to convince my mom to let me stay home by crying my eyes out. She said “no fever, no home-day”. So I sat in class, trying my hardest not to cry. (Side note: I’m notorious for having horrible farts, each one is seriously like a jar of sulfur with rotten eggs inside that was baking in the sun for 6 hours. I blame my grandma cause her farts smell just like mine.)
Anyway, I’m sitting in class, when I feel a fart coming. I hold it for over a minute but it doesn’t go away, so I finally decide to release and hope for the best. Luckily it was silent, but A LOT of gas came out. Instantly I felt better, but then I caught a wiff of it and almost gagged. It didn’t smell like my normal farts but I could still tell it was mine. The girl next to me smells it, stands up and walks backwards, looking everywhere with a disgusted face. My class looks at her all confused, then my fart hits the kid in front of me and he screams “EEEWWWW!!! WHAT IS THAT SMELL??!?!??!” My teacher walks over to the kid, but before he gets to him he smells it, and his face tenses up. He pauses before saying “Alright everyone, it smells like a gas leak. I need you all to cover your noses with your shirts and walk to the field, just like a fire drill.” So we all stand up, cover our faces, and walk to the field. My teacher closes the door behind us and runs down to the administrative office.
We’re sitting on the grass when the school’s fire alarms go off. I watch all these people, all my friends, coming out. I hear multiple sirens approaching, and just watch as two fire trucks and one ambulance arrive. I just watch, in pure embarrassment, as firefighters in full gear walk into the school, presumably heading to my classroom to run tests.
All the parents were called, and most came down and took their kid home by the time school was supposed to get out. My mom came, signed me out, and on the way home she said “What an eventful day! I bet you’re sure glad you went to school today, aren’t ‘cha?”
I vowed to myself that I would never feel embarrassment like that again, by sharing this story. But given the anonymity, I feel like this can be an exception.”