What You’re Probably Thinking:
We’re eventually going to find out that submarines have screen doors, aren’t we?
is such a thing as headlight fluid …
After all, a flashlight that runs on solar power would come in very handy in situations when you need a flashlight not to actually light anything (since it’s broad daylight), but, like, to show people that you own one or to generally be a dick. Otherwise, it’s a completely useless item and yet another depressing sign that we will just buy any goddamned thing.
Ask a U.S. Marine in Iraq or a Navy SEAL in Afghanistan how awesome solar-powered flashlights are — they use them all the time. These flashlights can be charged up only during daytime, but no one says you have to use them right away. They work the same way as solar panels, collecting power and storing it for later use (as in “when it’s dark”). So these are almost as good as regular flashlights, right? Wrong: They’re much, much better.
For the troops, letting the flashlight charge itself during the day is much more practical than having to carry (and dispose of) a bunch of stupid batteries. And rechargeable flashlights don’t help you much in a country where electricity is scarce and unreliable.
But that’s not even the main reason solar-powered flashlights are so awesome: that would be the fact that they help poor people in Africa not explode:
They also allow them to work after sunset, do schoolwork and see where they’re going without treading on anything that might bite their legs off, but the not exploding part is definitely the highlight for us. It goes like this: Loads of African people have no electricity and therefore must rely on old petroleum generators for light and power. These generators are in pretty shitty condition, and since they’re maintained by pretty much whoever happens to be standing in their proximity, they tend to blow up. Like, a lot.
So, come sundown, the people have two options: make their way through darkness and possibly stumble on a sleeping African lion, or flip a light switch that may or may not have been rigged with a bomb. What do you do? What do you do?
BoGo Lights spares them that choice by giving away one solar-powered flashlight to poor people in Africa (or U.S. troops, if you prefer that) for every purchased one.
Holy shit, is there anything else out there we should feel bad for mocking?