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It’s Finally Almost Over: The Election-Night Drinking Game to End All Drinking Games


If you’re like most of the country, following the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election has probably already made you think, “Wow, I need a drink,” at least one time. Tonight, as we watch the results come in, calm your nerves with a little liquid courage don’t-have-a-panic-attack juice

So, here we go.

Players: 2+

Equipment: Wine, cocktails, beer, really strong mouthwash-literally anything containing alcohol. And an iron liver.

THE FULL, OFFICIAL RULES:

Take a sip…

Any time you feel the sinking panic that everything you’ve ever thought you knew was true about the world is actually wrong.

Start to chug…

Any time you manage to momentarily convince yourself that you’ve been in a fugue state for the last five months and the nightmare-scape that is the 2016 Election was all in your head.

Finish your drink…

When you come crashing back to reality and realize that no, you weren’t in a fugue state, and yes, this is real life.

Take a shot…

Any time your jaw *literally* drops in disbelief about which candidate won a specific state.

Make someone else drink…

Every time you have to unfriend/unfollow/block/or otherwise disconnect from someone on social media because they posted something unforgivable.

Switch drinks…

Every time you look in the direction of the place where you keep your passport.

Pour yourself a new drink…

Any time you feel a rush of relief because it looks like your candidate might actually pull through and win this thing.

Drink water…

Any time you check social media to make sure you’re not the only person feeling the way you’re feeling.

And to win gold?

Make it to November 9. Everyone who makes it to November 9 is a winner.

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