It’s Time to Talk About What Miley Cyrus Wore on

This week marked the first full week of live performances and eliminations on Miley Cyrus Presents: The Voice. To celebrate, our Miley wore many outfits, most of which looked like they came directly from the past. She started the week in an old-school sheer cape and floral dress that included peach, orange, and pale pink tones (see above). Imagine getting a vintage black-and-white photo of your fabulous grandmother, then going to get the image repurposed and converted into color, and that’s exactly what Miley looked like.

She also looked more relaxed than she did last week, now absolved of the guilt that comes with having to eliminate your own team members. It’s all up to America now, which we’ve learned tends to result in a terrible fate.

Ear serpent Darby Walker performs first on Team Miley. In a pre-taped package, Miley and this week’s advisor, Garth Brooks, coach Darby through her rendition of “Ruby Tuesday.” In rehearsal, Miley models another dated look. Our girl wears a floral dress, purple tights and knee-high, white, patent leather boots. I’m not mad at her, though, because that waist is snatched for the gods and the children.

After vocally coaching Darby, Miley gifts Darby with a Miley-fied mic stand that is covered from tip to tail in flowers! Darby, a true Miley Cyrus stan, holds back tears. In a subsequent rehearsal, Miley, now wearing a headband with cat ears on it, tells Darby that her vocals have made her cry with joy.

In her live performance, Darby is surrounded by flower images, and the 60s/70s connection that she and Miley share is supremely alienating. I wish I could tell you how well Darby did, but as we know, I do not like her voice so I am unable to give you an unbiased opinion. I do think she’s sweet-seeming, and I appreciate her sisters reluctantly wearing flower crowns in support.

Aaron is the second performer for Team Miley, and his song of the night is “Hollywood Forever, Cemetery Sings.” In rehearsals, Miley takes a mic for herself and sings backup vocals for Aaron. His live performance is great, and Adam says that he has a responsibility to be a singer. Miley gives Adam and Aaron rocker fingers (or “hand-horns” as the internet calls them) to both Adam and Aaron in agreement. Blake has an odd compliment for Aaron, though. He says that the young man sounds like “Godzilla,” but in a good way. Miley takes this in stride and tells him, “Blake, you do say some really crazy stuff. He’s called one of my artists now a ‘rooster’ and then ‘Godzilla’.” Even though she called him out, Miley does “understand” where Blake is coming from. I still don’t, but I’m not a coach so I’m chilling.

Finally, the only Voice on this show, Ali Caldwell performs a Leonard Cohen (RIP) cut, “Did I Ever Love You.” In rehearsals, Garth Brooks lets out a “WOW” directly to camera the minute Ali opens her mouth. During Ali’s live performance, Miley gives her multiple “good job” nods, and when she’s done all four coaches give Ali a standing ovation. This pleases Miley who shouts “ALL FOUR! EVERY TIME!” Miley has heart eyes for Ali, and tells her that Leonard Cohen’s death and Ali singing his song so well is a “cosmic coincidence,” and definitely not a plea for ratings.

In Tuesday night’s elimination episode, Miley starts off in a black, sequined negligee that’s covered in rainbows and smiley faces.

The elimination process commences right away, and Team Miley’s Ali is the first contestant to be saved. Before Ali exits, she and Miley share a hug.

Sadly, the eliminations were halted for a brief and unnecessary interstitial that features Alicia and Miley “surprising” fans of theirs on The Voice set. Somehow this profited organizations that Miley and Alicia hold close to their hearts, but it did not profit my enjoyment fund. The package was as hokey as they come. Miley and Alicia watched as gullible fans toured The Voice set and were shocked to turn their heads and see either (or both!) celebs standing behind them. Classic!! -_-

When the eliminations continued, Darby was saved from the chopping block. She and her flower sistren Miley jumped up and down together before Darby descended into the wings. Darby wasn’t gone for too long, though, as she joined Miley and her team for a group rendition of “There’ll Always Be Music.” The song was originally sung by Miley’s godmother, Dolly Parton, and Porter Wagoner. In a word, the performance could be summed up as “peculiar.” They all looked the 1970’s part in classic attire that fit the song’s genre and time period. If you squinted your eyes enough you might even say that Miley was a dead ringer for old-school Dolly.

After Team Miley performed, Miley and her team member Aaron learned that he was on the elimination block. Aaron and Team Alicia’s Sa’Rayah both got the fewest votes, and the two of them had to sing for their spot on the show. Aaron sang Ed Sheeran’s “Lego House.” Despite sounding like he smoked 20 packs of cigarettes before he hit the stage, America saved him.

Even though only ONE person was eliminated this week, leaving 11 contestants in the race, The Voice is only on for one more month. So, next week we’ll endure another round of live performances, eliminations, and most likely some more floral. Keep it locked right here for you latest and more important news regarding our loved one, Miley Cyrus.

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